If I had been braver

If I had been braver…I would have travelled to all the places I dreamt of, I would have breathed the air of discovery in all the arts that interested me.  I would be sitting by my open window, staring out over the rooftops of Paris, France, and I would speak the French language so well, friends would argue that surely I had been born there.

If I had been braver…I would have carefully sculptured every story that flowed from my pen and not worried of criticism and laughter dipped in failure.  I would have expressed my opinion, whether right or wrong, just because I have a voice and I count.  My own footsteps I would have followed, without fear and without loneliness, turning my back on those that would lead me elsewhere.

If I had been braver…I would have taken car trips cross country with only a printed map for guidance.  I would have ended my days at a hotel room, with floor to ceiling glass doors, that led out to a large balcony overlooking an in ground pool far below.  The pool would be lit with lights encircling the bottom and the sides making the water look like ripples of liquid glass.  I would have sat alone on the balcony listening carefully to the stories that the night air offered up, and I would have been okay…if I had been braver.

But the path that I did follow led me to those who hold my hands gently, promising me the forever I need to hear, and to those who cradle my heart tenderly knowing its value, always careful never to crack or bruise its surface.

I would change nothing, but how I handled my journey.  I would not change the path I chose, nor the time it took me to travel its length.  I am in the place I was meant to be.

At this time, at this moment, I find that I still dream and breath in the air of possibilities, and I finally hear my heart, so I will write until I am empty, and then I will write some more, because now I am braver.

“I’ve dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they’ve gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.  Emily Bronte

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4 Responses to If I had been braver

  1. Sharon Clare says:

    What a lovely post, Carole Ann. There’s something about this time of life that makes us see our dreams and needs in new light and make changes.

    Looking forward to this time in life and to your every word!

  2. Shane Young says:

    “It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. ”
    ― Erma Bombeck

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